Saturday, April 28, 2012

How do I shot Kraken ?


“How Do I Shot Kraken?” is a popular catchphrase paired with an image of Lady Rogue Trader Armengarde, that is typically used in vox conversations to poke fun at a newbie's behavior.


The original image panel was first published in a 41184 issue of The Koronus Gazetteer, with Armengarde appearing in a promotional page asking for Adeptus  feedback on advertisements.  There are conflicting reports regarding the birth of “how do I shot Kraken?”, but numerous reference materials point to Ad-Mech forums’s “tech-lords-only”  server as the earliest known site of origin. According to firsthand accounts, it was originally quoted during a round of Imperial Selection, wherein the K-Nib enemies’ primary choice of weapon was shooting spider-webs. Out of sheer frustration, a newbie apprentice repeatedly asked “how do i shot Kraken?” in Low Gothic, which presumably meant “How Do I Shoot the Kraken.”  The earliest Crew-Tube sighting of the phrase was reported as early as  41203.


This grammatically strange phrase initially spread as an in-joke among Genetor  users who frequented the Xeno-Lore section, but reached across the boards on Tech-Heterocity, eventually reaching the Tech-Chan Board, where an image macro of Armengarde saying the phrase spawned hundreds of other pictures containing the phrase.


None. Apparently no Ad-Mech has had the courage or need to bring this to Armengarde's attention, and they, as in-jokes. remain on vox networks where presumably she does not look.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Died and Went to Gamer Hell

What - is this 1992 ?   
"New" products on the game shelf consist of 
  • Battle-Tech : Re-Vamped
  • Shadow-Run : Re-Hashed
  • Hero-Quest : Re-Dux
 And dribbling in nearby are Rifts (Necro Edition),
D&D Reanimated, and
Vampire (OMG why is that still alive)

It's like Microsoft bought out the gaming industry.
"Let's recycle junky crud that didn't work 20 years ago,
  slather it with maybelline, and sell it again!"

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Version 1.O of RT:RPG Mass Battle Cards

Preview One:

 Kaledon Hunters, an IG ranger unit

 IG 337th: Tank Battalion

 Kalvenian 187th: IG Anti-Air Battlaion

Naval Ratings: Unit of ship-bound troopers


Preview Two:

Murder Servitors: massed guardians of ship

Followers: troopers who follow the Sisters and Misionaries

PDF: Svards home defense unit

Cultists: men who are Whisperers, also from Svard

For Rogue Trader RPG, Mass Battles,
from the Book: Battlefleet Koronus

Available as an XLS file.

For which R.T.House does she work ?

Chorda ?
Armengarde ?
Contessa Cortelax ?

and what is he doing with those two ugly, stupid, smelly, heretical xenos by her side ?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Rogue Trader - Koronus Profiteers

Time and time again the Eldar prove they’re not only whores, but cheap whores.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Values for Rogue Trader Units in 40K-RPG

Here's my followup work. I've corrected some of the math from previous ideas, so the 2 proceeding pictures should be considered beta previews. The data is for average baseline units, except the last few rows of specials.  This sheet can be quickly copied and modded to make Elites, Low-Tech, or what have you. The book says there are no low-tech Heavy Armor or Titans, but I've seen both Gargants and Wild Wild West, so I'm going to allow them. I'm also taking the suggestion that Anti-Air units (AK-AK) do half damage when forced into regular combat, and expanding that to say that Titans can also screen like AK-AK.

The data is from Battlefleet Koronus by FFG, for their quickie representation of mass combat in 40K style.

Monday, April 09, 2012

Kaledon Hunters for RTG

Based on the planet's position on the Galaxy Map,
I had worked the Kaledon Guards into the flavor text of
my Rogue Trader Campaign, House Windsor.

Now the players have relatively easy access to these guys,
and as part of the ongoing effort to make play aids
for RTG, these guys are among the first to be built.

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Unit Cards for Rogue Trader Wars

Preview of spreadsheet with Unit Data

laid out like Epic Cards ; I used  the 3 units described in the BFK book, and extrapolated the Skitari.
What say you ?

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Rogue Trader - Mission Details - 1

First in a Series
Illustrated Tales of Daring-Do from the masters of Billion-Throne Gambles...

Drop-Pods and Transport

the Wonder Hawk, and 2 Drop Pods Custom Built